Here are two humorous stories, neither of which is true – I believe, but they are pretty funny, and make great material for your potentially funny wedding toasts… so enjoy!

Wife, Missing – Wedding Toast, Funny

A man walks up to a gorgeous woman in a large market and says, “Excuse me but, I’ve lost my wife somewhere here in the market, could you talk to me for a few minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Well, whenever I talk to beautiful woman my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere.”

Husband And Wife – Out Of Tune

A man and wife are getting passionate in bed, when suddenly, the wife stops and says, “I’m not feeling it. Can you just hold me?” The husband asks what’s wrong, and his wife says, “You’re just not in tune with my emotional needs as a woman.” The husband decides nothing is going to happen tonight and goes on to sleep.

The next day the husband decides to take his wife shopping. They walk all over the mall, and his wife tries on three expensive outfits. He says, “Let’s get all three.” Next they pick out some matching shoes, diamond earrings, and all the other accessories she wants.

The wife is ecstatic, and thinks her husband has gone off the deep end, but she doesn’t care…

They go to pay for everything, and her husband says, “No, no, no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff.” His wife gives him a blank look… “No sweetie, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while.” His wife’s face begins to turn red when he says, “You’re just not in tune with my financial needs as a man!”

I can relate with that second story…but anyway, I hope you liked these. I post new jokes like these all the time so be sure to stop by again if you still need help with a funny wedding toast!

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A Funny Wedding Poem Plus Jokes For Toasts

by Travis on June 18, 2010

 

I found this pretty cool poem and thought it might be a great wedding speech beginning or end, or something, plus I threw in a couple more good jokes you could use with your funny wedding toasts.

If you want to make a great wedding toast, and are having trouble with the details, try clicking on the link below…you can get step by step help, fill in the blank toast templates, and tons of great examples written by professional speech writers.

A Pleasant Poem Plus Jokes For Funny Wedding Toasts!

There was an old party of Lyme,
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked “Why the third?”
He replied, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!”

Just recently, on a night of revelry, I asked the soon to be groom what he wanted to get out of his marriage. He replied, “I want to be a model husband, a model citizen, and a model lover!” Being the curious man that I am I decided to look up “model” in the dictionary. It said, “A miniature replica of the real thing!”

I remember the first time Jill and I dated. When I arrived at the house, her father said she was just putting the finishing touches to her make-up and would be down presently. Then he added, “Fancy a game of chess while you’re waiting?

Well that is all I have for the moment, hope you liked the poem…I think it was the first poem I put up. I might try to find some more of them to bring a little more variety to my blog. As always, I hope you enjoyed the post, and good luck with those funny wedding toasts.

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Collection Of Jokes And One-Liners For Your Funny Wedding Toasts

June 18, 2010

A Collection of funny jokes and one-liners for your wedding toasting pleasure. May your wedding toasts be funny!

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A Long But Funny Story For Your Wedding Toasts

June 17, 2010

A long but very funny story you may be able to use in a wedding toast, plus help and tips about making funny wedding toasts.

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A Few Funny Tales For Your Wedding Toasts

June 17, 2010

A few funny tales to tell in your own funny wedding toasts, also find tips, advice, toasting etiquette and more for your own wedding toasts.

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Funny Wedding Quotes For Your Toasts

June 17, 2010

Funny quotes to use in your wedding toasts, plus information and resources to help you with your funny wedding toasts.

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Three Best Man Funny Wedding Toasts

June 16, 2010

Three examples of funny wedding toasts you can use, or incorporate into your own funny wedding toast, plus speech information and resources.

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Three Funny Wedding Toasts Short Stories

June 16, 2010

Three funny wedding short stories, plus information and resources to help with your funny wedding toasts, and wedding speeches.

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Three Funny True Tails For Your Wedding Toasts

June 16, 2010

Humorous true tails of weddings you can use in your own funny wedding toasts, plus information and resources for speeches.

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A Couple Funny True Stories For Your Wedding Toasts

June 16, 2010

Funny short stories you can use in your wedding toasts. Jokes, advice, tips and more help with your funny wedding toasts.

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