I found these the other day and just had to put them up for you all to read. They could easily be fit into your own funny wedding toasts, or used for inspiration. Enjoy!
Funny Mother-In-Law Joke
A man, his wife and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.”
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when you can have her buried here for only $150?”
The man replied, “a man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
Happiest Day Of His Life
“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.”
“But I’m not getting married until tomorrow.” Protests the nephew.
”I know,” replied the uncle, “that’s exactly what I mean.”
Lucky Escape?
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
“No,” he replies, “I was thinking about the time before our nuptials. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you. Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!”
And there you have it. I hope you liked them, and good luck with those wedding toasts.
