I will warn you beforehand, these stories contain just a little bit more “adult” humor than most of the other stories I have posted. They are quite funny though so you may like to use them in your funny wedding toasts if you think the crowd would appreciate them.
An Inebriated Bride Gives A Funny Wedding Toast
So recently I was at a wedding where the bride gave a speech thanking everyone for the presents she had received. Unfortunately, she had drunk one too many drinks and, as she pointed out a shiny new coffee percolator she said, “I’d like to thank my husband’s wonderful parents for giving me such a nice perky copulator.”
Who Wears The Pants?
A young couple, who had just been married, was in their honeymoon suite on the night of the wedding. As the wife undressed, her husband tossed his pants to her and exclaimed “Put these pants on.” His wife put them on and the waist was twice as big as her whole body. “I can’t wear them,” she said. “Darn right,” said the husband, “and you don’t ever forget it. I wear the pants in this family!” So, she flips him her panties and says, “Try those on.” He tried them on but of course he could only get them on about as far as his kneecaps. He said, “I can’t get into your panties!”, and she said, “That’s right and that’s how it’s going to be until you change your attitude.
Ever Driven A Stick Shift?
Three women were talking about their love lives. The first said, “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated.” The second said, “Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful.” The third said, “Mine is like an old clunker – he needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it’s still going.”
That’s it for this post. I hope you liked them, and as always good luck with those wedding toasts!
